Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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