I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize