Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
