I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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