i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
