I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
