If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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