Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize