I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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