Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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