It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
