I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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