you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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