It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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