I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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