Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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