so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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