i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need to wash the frat house off of me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃