I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
honey bunches of taint.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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