"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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