I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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