Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize