508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
