so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize