So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize