I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
