Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
