you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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