I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize