one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize