Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
