he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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