I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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