If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
