GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
