Say something about gay babies.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
