Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
