so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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