**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize