my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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