sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
