so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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