You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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