Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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