Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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