hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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