His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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