Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
