Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
