elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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