weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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