i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
