How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
