Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Randomize
