I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
