i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
