a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize